We left the nursing home in silence…my husband was in shock to find his Mom in such a state of sorrow and confusion… “We’ll see you tomorrow Mom” is what we had said as we walked out the door…
I woke up this morning…vacation almost over…looking forward to just one or two more days to sleep in a little, before the full swing of school starts and life is crazy..again with sports… When I came downstairs I noticed my husband watching a movie…HA I wonder what he is watching.. I thought… In our house, if we are watching a movie at 7:30 in the morning..we call it “getting sucked in” He was definitely sucked in..
But this wasn’t a funny movie..or an action movie..but a very serious movie where someone was dying…dying of AIDS. I sat down and watched with him as I drank my morning Java…quietly “getting sucked in”.
When the movie was almost over…this man’s friends were having a celebration, the room was full of laughter and joy but the man with AIDS was growing tired..so as everyone left they smiled and gave him hugs…each one of them said “we’ll see you tomorrow!” “we’ll talk tomorrow.” But tomorrow never came…he died in the middle of the night..
I can’t stop thinking about my Sister and Mom…the last time I saw them…in a hospital bed…I remember with both of them I was very pregnant…so I couldn’t stay with them for long periods of time…
I said to both of them… “I’ll see you tomorrow.” But tomorrow never came. Each died shortly after I left….. One of Cancer…the other of AIDS..
So why am I writing such a downer post…I’m not really sure..I just feel that God wants me to write this today, because we mustn’t be ignorant of our tomorrows. We mustn’t put off forgiveness, love, time…
We never know what a day will bring and I guess I’m just reminding everyone .. “what if tomorrow never comes?” Have you loved, forgiven, spent your time wisely on others?
Pick up the phone today…make a date today…forgive today…
Make sure your heart is right before God and man…all man!
“If at is possible; as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone. Romans 12:18’’
My heart and my relationship with my Mom and Sister were right..before God and with them.. I’m not saying it didn’t take a lot of work…but my heart was right and today I have no regrets.. No, tomorrow never came…but I could grieve with a free heart and a deep love for them..
We mustn’t live in fear of tomorrow either…and that’s sort of the oxymoron isn’t it…if we live a righteous (living right before God) life today…we don’t have to worry about tomorrow…even if it never comes, because we have taken the action steps that will make anything that happens tomorrow…ok.
Does that make sense?
So believe it or not…because I have seen that sometimes tomorrow doesn’t come… I am free to love, to forgive..to make time for the important..I’m not stuck in worrying and fear…because it’s knowing the truth and accepting it…that gives me freedom and joy today.
I know that life is too short…but a mist and a vapor…I don’t want to waste it..not on petty things..
What about you? Are you free? Do you worry? Have you forgiven? Have you loved?