I am praying that I will not come off as a blended family know-it-all. My hope is that after 24 years I will be able to impart some of things that have kept us growing, thriving and loving one another after all of these years.
24 years ago I married my husband and we blended a family together. 1 boy and 3 girls. Boy were we in for the challenge of our lives. My parents divorced when I was fairly young about 4th grade. Both of my parents remarried. So I grew up with a stepmom and a stepdad. My stepmom was very, very emotional abusive. She had two children of her own and was not happy to have me in this new family. My Stepdad was also very cruel and abusive.
I remember from a very young age, thinking that if I were to ever have stepchildren that I would treat them as if they were my own. I love my Stepchildren more than anything, but I had to come to the realization that they were not my own. My Stepdaughter reminded me, on more than one ocassion, that “You are not the boss of me and you are not my Mother!” I would very calmly say “I know I’m not your Mother, I’m your Stepmom and God has put me in charge of you so you need to obey me.”
The truth is, I had no intention or desire to try to replace my Stepkids Mom. I knew how they felt. I had been in the same boat when I was young.
And yet when you’re the one doing all the “Mom” things, it can get all confused in your emotions when you are rejected from the “Mom Love” you feel you deserve.