How to Grieve–The 5 Stages of The Grief Process Part 2

grieve

v. grieved, griev·ing, grieves

v.tr.

1. To cause to be sorrowful; deep distress:  It grieves me to see you in such pain

2. To mourn or sorrow for:  We grieved the death of our pastor.

As I said yesterday,  the grieving process is not the same for everyone.   However the 5 stages of the grieving process seem to be universal and it is very important that we understand these stages in order to move forward and heal.   I am not a psychologist or therapist..just someone who has worked through the grief process many times.  I understand how it works and the depths of despair it can bring if we get stuck along the way..  That is why I think it is so important to understand the grieving process.

The First stage is Denial and Isolation     

The first reaction we may have after hearing of  a terminal illness or death of a  loved one is to deny the reality of the situation.  It is a normal response to rationalize a flood of overwhelming emotions. This automatically happens and is a defense response to the bad news we have received.  We try do deny that anything is really wrong.  To isolate as we try and figure out what is going on.  Denial and Isolation is temporary..eventually it gives way to the truth of the situation

The Second Stage is Anger

Anger is self explanatory, but can come out all sideways.  Just about anything can become a target for a grieving persons anger.  There can be a lot of blaming and frustration during this stage.  If we are not aware that anger is a cover up for the deep pain we feel..I’m afraid we can become an angry person and not move on to the next stage of healing.

The Third Stage is Bargaining

In this stage we can try to bargain with God or even with ourselves.  There are a lot of if only’s…  If only I had… If only God had…We try to figure things out and rationalize the crisis in our minds..to gain a little control of an out of control situation. 

The Fourth Stage is Depression

As reality sinks in we give way to depression…life becomes overwhelming and hopeless.  The sun never seems to shine and at this stage we really need a friend!

The Fifth Stage is Acceptance

Acceptance means just that, Acceptance.  It does not mean that everything is normal,  happy or ok.  It simply means that you have come to a place where you can accept the circumstances. 

There is no perfect way to do any of these steps,  everyone is different so it will look different in all of our lives.  There is no time limit either…some grieve for weeks..others for years.

There is no RIGHT or WRONG way.  It just is what it is..it is a very personal journey…

I realize this is a depressing subject at Christmas,  but the truth is..that this is the time of year when most feel their loss more than ever…

Have you felt stuck in a grieving process?  You don’t have to have lost a love one..grief can come from the loss of anything meaningful to you..

Join me for one more day…joy and a way out…