How to Grieve-There’s One Way Out Part 3

I wish I had a secret formula that would get you from point A to point B,  from grief to joy overnight…but I have no formula.  I can tell you one way though..You see there is only one way out..One very, very hard way..it’s to go through it.  Yep,  I’m afraid that’s it..

“For just as the sufferings of Christ flow over into our lives,  so also through Christ our comfort overflows.”  2Cor 1:5

2 weeks after my sister died I gave birth to a beautiful baby girl.  I didn’t think I could birth a baby – I was just so depressed and heartbroken.

But God was merciful and she was born in 2 hrs.  I watched as my 4 yr. old and my 2 yr. old climbed up onto the bed to see their new baby sister with great amazement and fascination…As I looked at these little ones,  I knew that I must find a way to move forward..move through all of this grief..for their sake.  Yet something in me felt so dead,  so lifeless…true joy seemed a dream and fantasy away.

Now this was not my first experience with grief, with loss, with great sorrow-but it was the hardest..

For the next 3 years..I would grieve.  Oh I would laugh at a joke,  I would smile at a friend…but deep down inside…that true joy seemed gone forever…

Would I ever be happy again?  Would I ever feel that joy that only the Lord can bring? 

Thankfully I had wonderful friends,  a wonderful husband and a wonderful church that let me just grieve.  Then one day..as I was driving down the street,  I cried out to the Lord and He heard me..I don’t know..He always heard me..but this time I could hear him..

And I received the peace that passes understanding..

Will this happen for you?  I don’t know..Finding our way out is a deep and personal experience.  It just takes time..But we must allow grief to do it’s work in our hearts…

• Allow yourself to grieve
• Allow yourself to have feelings…even if they are uncomfortable
• Talk,  yell,  cry out to God…He CAN take it
• Have safe,  loving friends that will accept you no matter what
• Have mature friends that can re direct you if it seems you are heading down the wrong path…that will share scripture with you and help you back onto the right path.  Otherwise we can easily get lost in our own feelings and slip away from our relationship with God.
• Give yourself time…don’t have unrealistic expectations on yourself.
• Don’t isolate…this can be easy to do..be careful on this one
• Seek professional help if you need to.  There is NO shame in this. 
• Try to get back into a routine as soon as possible
• Don’t lose hope.  You will have joy again!
• Don’t get stuck in one of the 5 grieving process’s
• Don’t become bitter…become better
• Use your pain to drive you to God
• Use your pain to help others..to comfort them

If I were sitting next to you I would give you the biggest hug ever and I would tell you…You can make it through grief and can grow to be a blessing for others…yes it will happen..be patient with yourself. 

I would be honored to pray for you!!