Disciplining Teenagers

Nobody likes discipline!  Not teenagers OR their parents!  But discipline is a necessary part of parenting…even for teenagers.   Oh how I wish I could avoid this area of parenting.  I love my children so much and they are such good kids,  but now and then the hammer must come down.

Do you fear disciplining your child?

The word discipline conjures up many different ideas.  What does it look like to you?  My idea of discipline is guiding and correcting my children to do the RIGHT thing in place of doing the WRONG thing.  Sometimes this includes some consequences.  Negative consequences according to the child,  positive consequences according to the parent.

It also teaches your children trust.  They need to trust that you know what is best for them.  They need to trust that you will go to any length to make sure that you are doing the very best for them,  even if  it seems unpleasant at the time.   Discipline is a Loving thing to do FOR your kids.

By the time kids are teenagers,  hopefully they need a minimal amount of discipline.  We should not be surprised though when they DO need some discipline,  it is part of growing up.  Recently we had to discipline our teenage Son.  Teenagers are emotional beings!  Not only that,  manipulation can be pretty masterful.  Be on the lookout!

After our  “conversation”  and discipline and the dust had settled,  I couldn’t help but wonder though,  “had we done the right thing?  Were we too hard on him?  He is such a good kid!”

I began to have fear!  I wanted to just forget the whole thing and just hug him and say “oh,  just forget it.  Let’s just not think about it again.”

My husband and I didn’t want to break his spirit.   We began to talk about the rise in teen suicide and our fear around this.  Could this happen to us?  Could it happen even if we are doing the right thing?  We decided that YES  it could happen.

As parents  it’s always good to examine ourselves and see that there is nothing in US that might be creating a stumbling block for our children.  My husband and I decided that we definitely had our son’s best interest and our heart was right before the Lord.   So we went forward with our discipline.

We decided NOT to give in to our fear and to TRUST the Lord for doing the right thing.

We are not responsible for our child’s reaction,  but we are accountable for how we choose to parent our children.  Our son is the 5th child.  You would think we would have all confidence in our parenting,  but there are times when fear creeps in and we must turn to the One who created the boundaries in the first place and Trust Him just as we expect our children to trust us.

A couple of  scriptures to help with our parenting that we use:

Hebrews 12:11  “No discipline seems pleasant at the time, but painful.  Later on,  however it produces a harvest of righteousness and peace for those who have been trained by it.”

Proverbs 13:24  “He who spares the rod hates his son,  but he who loves him is careful to discipline him.”   (rod does not necessarily mean spanking.)  italics are mine.

How about you?  Do you have fear about disciplining your children?  Do you fear that it will put a wedge in your relationship?