I’m Not a Very Good Leader or Am I?
I awoke yesterday to a beautiful Fall morning..we have been blessed with some amazing weather here in the Pacific Northwest lately. I was excited and anxious to start the James Bible Study by Beth Moore with gals that I had praying for since becoming a group leader in our new/old church ( a church we used to attend ) I didn’t know any of these beautiful women, but without a doubt I knew our hearts would be bound together by the love of Christ.
Out to the kitchen..got to get that coffee and then I remembered that I had wanted to bring a little snack to Bible Study so I made some deelish Coffee Cake. Coffee Cake can be sort of old fashioned but I have a great recipe..so at 5:30 I’m whipping that up..anticipating the fun and fellowship. I put the Coffee Cake on one of my favorite serving trays and I was quite pleased that I could accomplish this before 6:40!
Anxious to get to church early to meet and greet my group, I ran out of the house as my morning always starts..at 6:40 to meet my Grandson and get back to finish getting ready. I put the key in the ignition and nothing..my Van had been acting up lately..I turned the key again as my heart sunk and my mind whirled..it would not start. Now what Lord? I had just met my Co Leader the day before and thankfully she lives close by me, as much as I hated to ask I called to catch a ride with her after my Grandson was dropped off.
Not such a good start to the day! Ok Lord..I’ll just focus on Bible Study and You and not let this distract me from being led by your Spirit. Upon arriving it took some time to get my Grandson checked in. It had been about 9 years since I had been to this church and everything is done electronically now..whoosh..boy do things change. After settling him into the 3 year old class I head on up to the “smaller” Sanctuary for Ladies Life.
I entered the large room..and what caught my eye was not the amount of tables and chairs and ladies busily buzzing about, but the tables! Most each table was being very carefully and extravagantly decorated. It looked like a room full of Pinterest Pictures… Something like this..
Source: stylemepretty.com via Nicole on Pinterest
and the food looked something like this..
Source: the-girl-who-ate-everything.com via Theresa on Pinterest
No I am not kidding!! Suddenly my homemade Coffee Cake seemed..well not so appealing :( Ok I’m going to be brutally honest..I love this kind of food and decorating but these days I’m lucky to make it out the door with a shower and Bible in hand for a Bible Study..which by the way..you are NOT going to believe this..I FORGOT my Bible!! Yep…the group leader forgot her Bible! OOPS!
Want to know all of the things that went through my head?
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I don’t belong here
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You have definitely picked the WRONG person to lead a group Lord
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These women aren’t going to feel loved because I didn’t decorate our table and make fancy snacks
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I am not leader material
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Oh yes the famous “what are the other ladies going to think”
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I didn’t even have napkins or forks..what was I thinking or NOT thinking
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I’m definitely going to be fired after today
I decided to go to the bathroom to re-group and ask the Lord to help me. In 3 short hours I had been reduced to a no good, beaten down, useless group leader! How could that happen? Well the enemy for one of course..he does not like it when we do Bible Study and grow in the Grace of the Lord.
But even more important..I had let this whole thing become about me. As I looked around and felt so inferior…I began to compare myself to others. A BIG NO NO..I had started focusing on myself rather than on the ladies and on the Lord. Did you know that insecurities and inferiority is really a self focused way of thinking. An idol if you will. My eyes had gotten off of the Lord and onto other people and onto the beautiful things of this world…not that the beautiful things are bad..but are they drawing me away from the Lord and His purposes for ME.
So I emerged from that bathroom renewed in my Spirit and not really caring what the tables looked like..as a matter of fact my change of heart and mind enabled me to admire and enjoy the beauty of those tables.
As for my table.. you might wonder..I grabbed some napkins from the coffee shop and called it good. After taking time to get to know all of our ladies that morning we all agreed that the Lord had put us each in this small group together for various reasons and we all look forward to the growth that will take place in our hearts.. the focus was not on me or the table but on the Lord where it belonged.
Spending those few minutes talking to the Lord and refocusing on what Bible Study is really about also freed me to love those gals the way Christ would want me to …not with an earthly love, but a supernatural love that only Christ can give..
How about you..We all compare ourselves to others sometimes don’t we..What throws you off track and tell me how you get refocused…
Wow Shari, Super proud of you for walking thru “enemy territory” and coming out the other end in victory instead of being held prisoner there! You are an amazing woman of God! Thanks for the reminder of “keeping our eyes focused on Him” and not our surroundings.
God’s blessings!
Hello my friend! It was nice to see you today! You are such a blessing to me 🙂 Take care and talk soon!
It’s good to hear all went well. Yes, God knows our hearts and takes care of us the way He sees fit. It may not be exactly what WE want all the time, however, nonetheless, He takes care. 🙂
Oh that is for sure Tammy LOL 🙂
I hate it when the devil gets in our mind and totally downgrades us. When that happens, I have to remind myself of Psalm 139…that God knew me before I was born and that he made me fearfully and wonderfully with great plans for me in mind. I think it’s easy for our flesh to compare ourselves with others but we always need to go back to the truth that God values us just as much as he values other people. Thanks for sharing! Never doubt the leadership that God has placed you in! With God on your side, who can be against you?! Be blessed 🙂
Awww Chelsea you are such an encouragement..even after leading in Womens ministry for over 25 years I can suddenly be caught off guard like this..I guess that’s a good thing huh! 🙂 I love Psalm 139..Love it! I’m so glad that God knows me so very well.. Many blessings to you Sister!!
Shari, those pictures are amazing! I’m sure you did fine. 😉
First…I’m a very shy person and would definitely NOT make a good group leader! lol
Second…Earlier this year I made a promise that I would start out my mornings by reading my Bible. For the most part, I’ve kept to that, however, the past couple of weeks I’ve been slack with it. 🙁 Just super busy. However, you should always make time for reading the Bible and prayer.
I love your blog posts! 🙂 Thanks for sharing.
Aww you are so sweet Tammy. Yes everything went great and because it wasn’t about me everything worked out! I bet you would be a great leader too Tammy. I go through little times when a week or two go by and I haven’t had time to spend quality time in the word..but even if I spend a minute or two each day, I know the Lord knows my hearts desire to spend with Him and honors that 🙂 I’m sure He does for you too! Blessings
Yes….our enemy sure knows all the little chink in our armor, doesn’t he, Shari?
As leaders, we need to be aware that we are a bigger threat/target and be prepared for those inevitable attacks. Whenever I begin leading a new study, I request extra prayer to help me overcome all the stumbling blocks, oppression, and attacks the enemy sends my way.
It’s very challenging, but we need to put on the full armor of God, wield the Sword of the Spirit (His Word), and keep our focus on Jesus daily!!
Praying for the Lord to fill you with His strength, wisdom, peace, love, and grace, Shari!!
Hi Deb..yes we do need to be totally prepared for sure! After so many years..sometimes I wonder how in the world I get caught off guard! LOL oh well..God is quick to restore my heart! Thank you Lord 🙂 Fantastic idea to ask for prayer. Since at a fairly new church I had not done this..but I know the leadership was praying.. Thank you for your prayer and friendship Deb..you are a great encourager!
Thanks for sharing this! Sometimes we all put so much pressure on ourselves that doesn’t even need to be there… I want to be a hospitable person, that’s what the Bible asks from me… but most times I get wrapped with being a good entertainer and I want to live up to Martha Stewart’s standard and not God’s … If I give in to those pressures I’ll just get stressed out and will end up not doing anything instead… because I’ll feel inadequate… when the Lord never asked for those things from me… just an obedient heart that is willing to love His children, my sisters and brothers in Him… thank you for being brutally honest and sharing your heart with us… I think we all feel many times like that… Pinterest is beautiful… we do have to try our best… but your heart is what matters most… 🙂 That table is beautiful (and intimidating indeed) I would’ve probably felt the same way… I am glad you pushed through … How God is the Lord that He gave you courage and freedom to do some lovin’ on his daughters! 🙂 … BTW… we are doing that very same study in our church and I am co-facilitating one of the groups… I loved session 3 (yesterday) looking forward to more! HuGS!
Ohh Paloma I just LOVE your heart! Yes when we have the heart of the Lord we see that He NEVER asks us to be super entertainers..only to LOVE. I’m so excited that you are doing this study too! We just had our first week and love Beth Moore so I’m sure it will be amazing! I wish you were my Co Facilitator…wouldn’t that be sooo fun! Blessings Paloma!!