I simply don’t know why this has been on my heart this Fall…but it has, so I wanted to share about the season in my life when God said “It’s time to let go of homeschooling, Shari”
I don’t like to ruffle anyone’s feathers because I believe with all my heart that each family should do what God calls them to do, but I feel like I should share my little story…just in case there are those that are struggling.
I didn’t homeschool our 4 older kids..that was back in the day when hardly anyone homeschooled. Although, one of my daughters begged me to homeschool her, I thought she was crazy! I knew nothing of homeschooling, except I had a couple of friends that homeschooled, but I worked and couldn’t fathom homeschooling…and I wasn’t the least bit interested.
Then along came our 3 younger children. By the time my son was about 4 and after much prayer, we had decided to homeschool. Reason being…my son seemed to have what is now called sensory issues (I don’t know the “real name”). But I do know that 15 years ago it was more popular to send a child off to school and then have them be misdiagnosed as ADHD for everything.
I loved homeschooling, there is nothing like having your kids home and learning together…it’s such an adventure! So many fun things to learn, watching as your kids “get” concepts and life lessons. The closeness that homeschooling can bring is wonderful. It had it’s ups and downs…but all in all I loved it.
Then we had a very very difficult thing happen in our family…
We had been homeschooling for almost 5 years. (we did one year of private Christian School)
Everyday I would get up exhausted and mentally unprepared and confused. I guess you could say I became very depressed. My little homeschooling world…my life “seemed” to be crumbling. I prayed and prayed about letting go of homeschooling and sending our kids to private or public school. My son was now ready for Middle School, my daughter ready for 3rd grade and my littlest, kindergarten. I almost couldn’t bare thinking of my babies going to YIKES Public School!
The thought paralyzed me. People in my homeschooling/Christian circle would tell me it was ok and kids need to see that life is hard and that I should keep homeschooling.
I kept praying and praying…. I could hear God asking me to let go of homeschooling for a season. I couldn’t
My fear kept me hanging on and hanging on to something that wasn’t working anymore. The truth is…I listened to people, read articles, looked online for encouragement of any kind to keep me focused and homeschooling.
Rather than listening to my God.
- The God that is and was in control of all things in our lives.
- The God that knew my heart.
- The God that created and formed these young ones…they belonged to Him, not to me.
- The God that I was so afraid to let have my babies…because maybe He didn’t know how to be a good enough Mother to them when I was not with them.
I was sooo afraid…
- Afraid that I hadn’t taught my children enough and they wouldn’t be at the level needed for public education.
- Afraid that other kids would think they were weird and they would be bullied
- Afraid that the School District would hate us for homeschooling
- Afraid that my children would somehow get tainted by other children that didn’t hold to the same standards and values as our family
I knew in my heart of hearts what God was calling me to do, to let go of homeschooling…for now…
But I couldn’t, until finally one night I met with God at a very low point. I did my usual wrestling match with Him about homeschooling and He comforted me and told me how much He loved my/his children, more than I of course.
It all came down to a matter of faith and trust.
Would I choose Faith and Trust God? Would I surrender MY will for HIS will?
Yes I did.
“Now faith is confidence in what we hope for and assurance about what we do not see. This is what the ancients were commended for.” Hebrews 1:1
“By faith Abraham, when called to go to a place he would later receive as his inheritance, obeyed and went, even though he did not know where he was going. By faith he made his home in the promised land like a stranger in a foreign country; he lived in tents, as did Isaac and Jacob, who were heirs with him of the same promise. For he was looking forward to the city with foundations, whose architect and builder is God. And by faith even Sarah, who was past childbearing age, was enabled to bear children because she considered him faithful who had made the promise. And so from this one man, and he as good as dead, came descendants as numerous as the stars in the sky and as countless as the sand on the seashore” Hebrews 1:8-12
I wanted my Lord to know that I trusted Him with my very breath, my very life and even more…the life of my children. I wanted to be commended for trusting God enough that we would go into this foreign land, like a stranger a pilgrim.
Well this is getting to be waaaay longer than I thought it would be sooo I’d better finish tomorrow…lest you get too bored!
I’ll tell you what happened when my kids went off to Public School…and more!
Have a blessed day!! PS
Linking up with these parties!