Don’t you just love to look at all the lights at Christmas! The sparkles the decorations the beauty of it all. I do! Then why is my gut churning….
My mom was a concert pianist when I was a little girl. Oh how I loved to listen to her play the piano. It was so beautiful! I wanted so bad to learn how to play like she did. I didn’t get that opportunity, and as I grew up, that beautiful piano music faded into the background and she stopped playing.. for many reasons. But my love for piano has always stayed.
I love the piano so much that 10 years ago I decided that I would take piano lessons. I wanted to play that beautiful music like my Mom did and so many others that I listen to. From the first lesson to the last lesson I took…I hated it. I found no joy in playing the piano. I was very discouraged with myself and even got angry at the piano. I quit. It bothered me to quit, because I knew that in order to be good at anything you have to practice..that’s what I tell my kids.
The thing is that I found absolutely no joy in learning to play. I was miserable..so why in the world was I doing it..because I loved piano music! So I decided that I would leave the actual playing to those that had a gift and love for playing the piano and I would relax and enjoy the piano with my ears and my heart
I didn’t have to feel guilty or resentful that God did not make me with the gift of playing the piano. I relax and enjoy listening, I build others up with this gift whenever I can and I have so much peace…
Back to Christmas..
Slowly I drove down our street and into our cul de sac the lights were beautiful..house after house lit up and sparkling. Oh there were houses here and there with no lights….but you could see there pretty Christmas trees in the window. My gut was churning and I was feeling so restless. Pulling into my driveway I could see the pretty deer given to us from our neighbors. Our tree all lit up in the window. Still my gut was churning. As I walked into the front door boxes lined the long hallway..full of Christmas decorations. Most of them inherited, some given by neighbors…as they wanted to change their themes..
Change themes? I’m going to be honest..my stomach is churning because I hate putting up Christmas decorations! Ok, I’ve said it! I’ve said what I have felt for a long time. I’ve held it inside long enough! I’ve not wanted to say it because it seems so unspiritual, un festive, scrooge-like. But it’s true.
I really prayed about this. I examined my and this is what I found my motives for decorating to be:
- Everyone else is doing it
- What will others think if I don’t decorate
- The kids will be totally warped if I don’t decorate the whole house
- My feelings don’t matter as long as everyone else is happy
- It will glorify the Lord if my house is all lit up so others can see we are really celebrating
- Our neighbors have given us a couple boxes of decorations and so we are expected to put them out
- My energy level doesn’t matter as long as others are happy
- I can sacrifice other necessary things in order to decorate
How many of these things have to do with the true meaning of Christmas? It’s silly of me I know. It’s obvious that most of these reasons for decorating are people pleasing and martyrdom.
So today I’m going to take out just a couple more decorations and pack up the boxes and give them away. I’ve decided that, like the piano, decorating is not my gift. I will celebrate and appreciate this gift in others as I drive down the streets and visit others homes during this joyous season.
I refuse to feel guilty because I know that God has made me with other gifts and talents..I love to cook, garden, sew, blog LOL. I will bring the neighbors homemade soup and homemade bread in the winter. I will share my flowers from my garden in the summer. I will make homemade heating pads with my sewing.
I’m not so bad after all
How about you? Do you have a gift or talent that you share with others? Do you fall into the trap of people pleasing sometimes?
Karen Dawkins says
What a tender post. My grandma was the piano player. We loved listening to her play our 1970’s favorite tunes with her polka twist. She was amazing! The piano talent skipped a couple generations, passed on to my son (he will further his piano studies in college next year).
As for Christmas decorating, we actually hold a family meeting each Thanksgiving weekend. How will we decorate this year? Who wants to do X, Y, or Z? This year, the kids decided they’d handle things. And they have! Not as much as we used to do, but plenty of sparkle to make the magic.
Enjoy your traditions, whatever they are!
Merry Christmas!
shari says
Hi Karen! Oh how I love the Piano 🙂 I was so touched that your son is making you a CD..very sweet! I love the idea of a family meeting about this decoration business. I don’t know why I didn’t think of that. It would be so much more helpful 🙂 Maybe next year for the few decorations that we will keep 🙂
Enjoy your Christmas also!
Blessings!
Fawn says
Amen! I put a photo on my FB page this morning that said “I’m pretty sure we’re the “ditto” house this year…” The photo shows a house all lit up, decorated beautifully for Christmas. And then there’s a house next door with an arrow in lights that says, “Ditto!” I love that picture. We keep it simple around our home and are realistic. If there’s time to do it, we LOVE it. But if there’s not…we just refuse to be stressed. Our home is beautiful the rest of the year and it won’t cease to be so during the holidays.
shari says
I just LOVE that Fawn..I want one of those for my house! Ha! Blessings!
Jean says
We all have our different talents. Like you, learning and playing the piano is not one of mine. I think God gives you a talent for writing and sharing Him through your blog. A lot of people shy away from discussing God on their blogs because the world tries to be “pc” but I admire your devotion to Him and how you write about your daily life and family and integrate your faith into the discussion.
I thought I was alone in disliking decorating for Christmas! It’s somewhat daunting I suppose, which is why I tend to dread it. When it’s done though, it’s so nice to enjoy the general splendor of it all.
I hope you have a very blessed and Merry Christmas!
shari says
Ohhh.. Jean you are so sweet. Thank you. I do love the splendor of the whole thing too..but I’m finding that as I get older I need to just make different choices about how I can spend my energy and time. I’ll do a little decorating..but not much 🙂
Kimberly says
Hi Shari, what an honest post! Motives for why we do things is something we all should examine in ourselves on a regular basis. People pleasing is a negative, I agree. Bless you as you seek to find joy in the talents God has given you and the freedom to be where God has you this moment. That is being an authentic Christian. Kudos to you on your post!
shari says
You are so kind Kimberly 🙂 Thank you so much for stopping by. You’ve made my day! Blessings to you! Oh and by the way Happy Anniversary!