My story starts in October, 1958. I was born to 2 young parents that were very career oriented and had known each other most of their lives. People assumed that they would get married so they figured that that is what they should do! So after a very rocky marriage my parents divorced when I was 10 years old.
I remember the first time I met my step dad. The first thing he said to me was “You must be the ugliest kid I’ve ever seen!” Wow, I didn’t even know what to say! As soon as my Mom started dating my step dad life went from bad to worse. They started drinking very heavily. Things became out of control very quickly. I knew something was deeply wrong when I found my Mom overdosed on pills after trying to commit suicide.
My Mom lived, but went on to live a very miserable alcoholic life. Crisis after crisis is really the only way to describe living with my Mom and Step Dad. Ambulances and Police were constantly at our home due to the violence that was always present. My step dad was sexually abusive and a very evil man.
My Mom loved me I knew that for sure (in her own sick way) so one day I decided to get up the courage and tell her about the abuses committed against me. She would have nothing to do with it. She told me that I was a liar and began to criticize me for my behavior. Then she turned her back on me and did not want to hear anything more about it.
What does a kid do after that kind of response! I thought my mom loved me. How could she say I was a liar. How could she say all of those horrible things about me?
So I began to rebel. I started smoking, drinking and taking drugs when I was 11 years old. I started running away from home. Sleeping in the bushes at night, anything to get out of that house. I became quite out of control at school. Failing my classes, hanging out with the wrong crowd.
So my Mom sent me to go live with my Dad and Stepmom. Believe it or not, it hurt so bad. Even though I was in such rebellion, I felt so rejected. I was being sent away. So at age 13 I went to live with my Dad and Stepmom. My Stepmom was very young and had 2 children of her own. The last thing she wanted to do was deal with I’m sure was a troubled teenage stepdaughter.
My Stepmom was an emotionally unhealthy person due to her own upbringing, so of course she had nothing to give a troubled teen. I look back at those years as the Cinderella years. She was the wicked step mom and I was Cinderella. I did all of the house work. I cooked dinner almost every night. I did most of the care for my younger step brother and step sister when my parents were out. I was not exactly the most desireable teen to be around so one year they all went to Disneyland and left me home. My Stepmom and Dad said that I was too much trouble.
At Christmas time I felt gilted because I usually got very few gifts while I felt my siblings got many. One year I received a bottle of shampoo because I washed my hair everyday and my parents just thought that was ridiculous. Well I could go on and on. I’m sure you get the picture.
One day my Dad was driving me to school. I thought I would take a chance and talk to him about my stepmoms behavior. So after I was done with all my complaining, my Dad simply said “I’ve already been through one divorce, I just can’t go through another.” The end! Conversation over!
On so many occasions I just wanted to die. I was so dead inside. I had no hope. I continuned drinking and taking drugs through out these years. I moved out the day I graduated. Believe it or not I moved back to my Moms. Nothing had changed their.
I started dating a neighbor fella. Within a couple of months I was pregnant. I was 17 (almost 18). We got married and I had a beautiful baby girl. A couple of years later I had another beautiful baby girl. My drinking and drugging continued throughout these years. (except when I was pregnant)
By the time my oldest daughter was 8 years old I had become out of control with my drinking. I was in a black out most of the time. When I didn’t have alcohol to drink I would get the shakes and drink just about anything…yep even Nyquil. I never wanted to become like my mother, I couldn’t think of anyone worse to become like. But the truth is I was even worse.
One day my husband came to me and said “If you don’t do something about your drinking, I’m going to have to take the girls and leave.” At 25 years old I had become my worst nightmare…my mother. I loved my girls and new that I couldn’t live without them.
I went into an alcohol treatment program and was diagnosed as an acute, chronic, late stage alcoholic. I hated it there! I was so full of anger and hate. I remember throwing my food tray at one of the nurses the first night I was there. I hated going to AA meetings. I hated the word God in those 12 steps. I hated being away from my kids.
One day I went storming down the hall after an AA meeting. Straight to the nurses office. I poked my head right in there and said “All you guys are trying to do is brainwash me!” And one of the nurses looked at me with a smile on her face and said “Isn’t it about time you took your brain out and washed it?”
That was the day I broke. The truth is I wanted desperately to stay sober and didn’t have a clue how to do that. I had drank and drugged for more than half of my life. I simply did not have any tools for life. Yes, it was time to take my brain out and wash it.
Well I have been sober now for 28 years. By the Grace of God. There is so much more I could say about how I got to where I am today. My heart is to share my journey with you. How God met me in my most rebellious state and loved me for who I am today, forgave me for what I had done in the past and gave me a wonderful future.
My prayer is that my recovery would give hope to the hopeless. Never give up on God. Never give up on people. My mom finally got sober after I had been sober 11 years. She asked my forgiveness and then died a year later of Cancer.
My Stepdad died two years after my Mom in a drunkin stupor.
My Dad and Stepmom are still living and we have forgiven one another and have a wonderful relationship.
Today I have a most wonderful life, but I did not get here without alot of hard work. Every tear I’ve ever shed, every broken hearted thing of the past I faced was well worth the healing and freedom of today!
Thank you for reading my personal testimony.
“May the Lord Bless you and keep you and make His face to shine upon you”
Linking up with Faith Filled Fridays
Nicole @MTDLBlog says
You are remarkable! Thoroughly enjoyed seeing that you found your way through to a fulfilling life. Well done!
shari says
Aaawww, thank you Nicole! It’s only by God’s amazing grace that’s for sure!
Blessings to you
Shari
Sandy Keith says
What a wonderful testimony. You were a lost sheep that Jesus went hunting for and when He found you, He took you out of your horrible life. And while I had a wonderful childhood, He picked me up and loved me into His arms when I was in my early twenties.
I am the grandma of seven kids. Actually, not kids. Their ages range from 30-14. Each one is a joy. If there is anything I understand, it is the heart of a grandma.
Grandkids are so much fun, I wish I’d had them first.
Blessings,
Sandy Keith
shari says
Thanks for stopping by Sandy! The Lord definitely sought me out and I will be forever thankful. Grandkids are THE best! It is more fun than I ever thought it would be 🙂 Blessings to you!
Roxy says
Hi Shari,
Thanks for sharing your story. It made me cry, though I’m happy about the ending, as I too had a very messed up childhood and it continued somewhat into adulthood. Just so thankful that you have received the gift of Salvation through Jesus, and that you know Him personally as do I. There is nothing more important that that, and what a blessing now to be able to share your message with others to let them know there is hope. I still struggle daily, but it is easier now, knowing that the Lord is in control and is for me. God Bless you! 🙂
shari says
Hi Roxy,
I am so happy you stopped by! I am so very glad that you too have found the Lord..or should I say He found you (and me of course) He is such a good God and the Healer of the Broken Hearted! If you ever need prayer or just want to chat..feel free to contact me.
Blessings to you!
Laura says
Wow. Thank you for sharing. Your story gives so much hope.
Thanks for linking up with Faith Filled Friday, you’ve been a blessing. 🙂
shari says
Your welcome Laura! Thank YOU for the oppurtunity to share and Glorify the Lord!
Blessings!
Lisa says
I just came across your blog from Top Mommy Blogs. I love reading about how God’s grace works to change lives and your story is so inspiring. I too have a blended family with children ranging in age from 25 – 8, but no grandchildren yet.
Thank you for sharing!
shari says
Hi there Lisa! So glad you stopped by! Thank you for your sweet comment. Let’s keep in touch! Blessings to you and your sweet family!
DM says
What an amazing journey. The best part is overcoming those obstacles and your growth. I have been a grateful member of Al-Anon for adult children of Alcoholics for years. Thank you for sharing this testimoney.
shari says
Yay DM..I went to Al-Anon for many years after I married my husband..I think I learned more from Al Anon than any other 12 step program I have ever gone to 🙂 Thanks so much for stopping by! Blessings!
OneMommy says
Your testimony brought me to tears many times – I can not imagine being a child and left at home while your family went to Disneyworld, or having to suffer abuse from a step parent and having no one listen to you.
Your testimony, though, is also beautiful in that it shows what God is capable of. I am thankful you’ve had so many years addiction free, that you were able to reconcile on some levely with your mom and dad and step-mom.
May you have years and years ahead of you with God’s blessings.
shari says
Awww OneMommy you are sooo sweet 🙂 God is so amazing isn’t He! I can’t take any credit for where He has taken me today..except that I am so very thankful for His great grace. Thank you for your blessings and may God also bless you also for many years to come! Thank you for being my bloggy friend 🙂
jamee says
Wow, Shari-
Thank you for sharing your testimony. I have been sober for a bit over three years. I have found such forgiveness and grace thru Jesus Christ. I, too, long to share the hope I have found with others. I am a leader in my Celebrate Recovery group and helping other ladies reminds me of where I’ve come from and how easy it would be to get back there.
28 years…..just wow!
shari says
Hi Jamee! Wow three years sober is an awesome achievement!! I love Celebrate Recovery too!! Yes we are all only one drink away from a drunk..even after 28 years and I don’t EVER want to forget that. Thank you so much for stopping by and sharing.
Blessings to you!
LaRhonda says
Incredible testimony! Although your earlier years were so harsh, you are one of many examples of how God is in total control. We all must remember, what the devil means for harm, God can turn into good. He is all powerful! BE (be encouraged)!
LaRhonda says
Shari
What an incredible testimony! We must remember – what the devil means for harm, God turns into good. You are an example. May God continue to bless you in showing others how they can overcome such hardships. God is in total control, sometimes we go through things but as Joyce Meyer tells us, when we go through, we will come out of it. It’s very hard for some to understand the mighty strength of God. His mercy does endure forever. BE (be encouraged)!
Shari Lynne says
Hi LaRhonda! You are so very sweet. Yes most definately..what is meant for harm God definately means for good. Although sometimes it’s hard to see that when you are in the midst of things for sure! God is so amazing!! He is the great Healer and Redeemer! His LOVE endures FOREVER!! Thanks for stopping by!!
LaRhonda says
Shari,
What a remarkable testimony! So very often when we have been broken whether by abuse, rejection, abandonment or other forms of cruelty, we overcome by God’s grace. He goes through life with us even when we think He is not there. We have to remember that what the devil means for harm, God can turn into good. He is that powerful and your testimony is an example. BE (be encouraged) is my motto. Continue sharing God’s word and receive His blessings.
LaRhonda says
Sorry about the many postings. I have been having problems with my computer. I was determined not to let the devil stop me from offering you encouragement. I am new to some blogging so please say a prayer that I can continue to encourage others. Situation is, I have a long commute both morning and evening and can’t spend as much time on the computer as I would like but I am determined to tell others of the love Christ has for us. Not just one or two but for all. Keep up your wonderful work.
Shari Lynne says
Hi LaRhonda! Oh no worries..I figured it was some kind of glitchie thing 🙂 Thank you for being so diligent to encourage me..that is so sweet and I so appreciate it! I will pray that you will have energy to do at least a little blogging and share God’s great love 🙂 Even a little bit is better than not at all 🙂 God can turn a little thing into a BIG thing 🙂 Blessings again! Take care!
jamie says
Happy SITS Day, Shari! Thank you for being so honest in this post. I’m so proud of you and I believe God has you in His thoughts always… thoughts of peace and not of evil, to give you a future and a hope (Jer 29:11).
Shari Lynne says
Aww thank you Jamie 🙂 God is sooo amazing for sure! It took me many, many years to believe with all my heart that this scripture was true..but it is!! 🙂 For sure!! Thank you for stopping by! Blessings to you!
Angie Nelson says
Shari, you are such a strong woman and an inspiration to many. I wish you the happiest SITS day. Enjoy.
Shari Lynne says
Aww thanks Angie 🙂 I popped over to your blog and love it also!! Will definately be following! Many blessings!
thedoseofreality says
Thank you for sharing your story. You sound incredibly strong and brave. Your children are fortunate that you made that choice for them. Happy SITS day, it is clearly well-deserved.
Shari Lynne says
Yes I am so very grateful that I made the choice to get clean and sober for sure. My big girls are now in there 30’s and are wonderful, beautiful productive women with families of there own. I’m very proud of them. Thank you so much for stopping by 🙂 Blessings to you!
another jennifer says
Thank you for sharing your story and congratulations on 27 years of sobriety. That is quite an accomplishment! I do a lot of communications/social media work in the addiction and behavioral health field. (I also write the Crossroads blog -https://www.crossroadsme.org/blog) Putting your story out there is so inspirational for those who are struggling!
And Happy SITS Day!
Shari Lynne says
Hi there Jennifer! Thank you for stopping by on my SITS day 🙂 I just crossed the 28 year mark…yay!! Only by the Grace of God for sure! I’m always open to different opportunities so if you ever need a guest poster or anything else would love to work with you 🙂 Blessings!
Tristine says
Wow! There are parts of your life’s story that made me feel as if I were reading my own. I, too, have received Christ’s saving grace and mercy, and he redeemed me, renewed me, and re-established my life.
I love reading stories like yours, because it just proves how much God can do in our lives when we surrender…when we say, “God, I just can’t do this on my own. I need you.” I recently read that asking for God’s forgiveness isn’t enough. God seeks the repentant heart, too. If our words don’t match our heart, God will wait until it does. We see so many people who say “the sinners prayer” but never lead a life of real repentance and redemption.
I lived my life as a party girl. I was a music journalist who toured with bands, and lived backstage doing all those things you hear about. As much fun as that was, and may seem to some others, it was not fulfilling. Even after leaving the rock world and entering corporate America, my lifestyle didn’t change and everyone who knew me called me Trouble. That was, quite literally, my nickname. I left work on a Friday as “Trouble,” and came back the following Monday as “Saved.” When others saw what God had done, they started rethinking their own lives. I don’t say that to toot my horn, but instead, God’s! All the glory!! Praise God He touched your life, too!!
Happy SITS day! You deserve it!
Shari Lynne says
Awww Tristine and I love your story also!! God is truly amazing! I just love how He seeks us out no matter “where” we are and loves us know matter “who” we are. Because it’s all about Him right! LOL Many blessings to you!! What a light you will be to this dark lost world!!
Tanya says
I am so happy for you! God can do amazing things! I am visiting from Sits. Happy Sits Day!
Shari Lynne says
Hi Tanya! God is amazing isn’t He!! Thanks for stopping by! Blessings!
Ness says
Your story made me tear up, but it makes me so happy to see that you are doing well now. I am so happy for you 🙂
Shari Lynne says
Thank you so much. You are so sweet 🙂 Blessings to you!
misssrobin says
Your story is beautiful and so important. Thank you for sharing it.
As a fellow abuse survivor, I am so proud of the change you made. You are a true chain breaker. And you were able to influence change throughout your family. What an incredible thing!
You told your story in wuch a wonderful way. I am sure it will touch the hearts of many. It touched mine. May you continue to be blessed with health and strength and peace.
Jester Queen says
Wow. I’m so glad you found your way up from rock bottom and that your husband had the courage to say he would take the kids and walk away, even though he clearly still loved you. I’m glad that was a wake up call for you. And I’m glad your faith has been a source of strength to help you grow. I’m not religious, but I absolutely respect it, and I can tell it makes you who you are today. Happy SITS day!
Shari Lynne says
Thank you Jester Queen you are so sweet. Yes it takes alot of guts to stand up to someone with an addiction and put your foot down. But it must be done for sure! Thank you for stopping by and encouraging me! Blessings!
Whitney says
Shari, you have a wonderful story, testimony and you made it ok for me to tell stories about my upbringing. To God be the glory is all I can say! Stopping by from SITS!
Shari Lynne says
Awww Whitney thank you so much for your words of encouragement. It used to be harder for me to tell my story..but these days I am convicted if I DON’T tell my story. Because like you said..to God be the Glory..forever and ever! Blessings to you! PS I would love to read stories about your upbringing if you ever put them on your blog 🙂
Mothering From Scratch says
{Melinda} Amazing testimony! So sorry you had to go through all that you did. Heartbreaking. But I love how Jesus can redeem our pasts and use them to help others and all for His glory! I know you are an inspiration and encouragement to many people.
Happy SITS Day … you totally deserve your day in the sun.
Shari Lynne says
Hey Melinda! Thanks for stopping by from SITS! The Lord is sooo good isn’t He! All for His glory! You are so very sweet..love your blog too!! Blessings!
kyfirewife says
What a lovely testimony!
{{ stopping by from SITS }}
Shari Lynne says
Aww Thanks kyfirewife! Blessibngs to you and thanks so much for stopping by!
Jennice says
My mother struggled with drugs and alcohol most of her life as well. She was on drugs when she had me and my aunt adopted me. My mom had a baby in 1997 and she’s been clean for 14 years, thank God. lthough she’s clean , we still have alot of issues between us and i find myself sometinmes resenting the fact that she got her act together for my youngest brother but not for me or my two older brothers. Ive asked God to help me worj through those feelings and day by day Im learning to forgive her a little bit more. Thank you for sharing your story and mat God continue to bless you!
Shari Lynne says
Hi Jennice, You story truly touches my heart 🙁 I am so thankful that God mended my relationship with my girls. They have truly forgiven me and we have a wonderful relationship today. My husband and I had 3 more children..they still live at home..and to tell the truth..I think my oldest daughter struggled with that too. BUT now I watch her son..my grandson and she has a great relationship with these younger siblings because they are such great uncle’s and aunties 🙂
I pray that you will find freedom in your forgiveness. I know that it’s not easy but I do know that God is so much bigger and little by little we can have the freedom that only He can give. Many blessings to you and your family 🙂
Jennice says
by the way I found your blog through SITS so happy SITS Day to you!
Shari Lynne says
Yay! Thanks for stopping over Jennice! It’s nice to meet you! Blessings!
Jill of PJgamers says
That’s some tough stuff you’ve got going on. I’m glad you found some happy.
Shari Lynne says
I did find Happy!! LOL Thank you so much for stopping by Jill and many blessings to you!
Monica says
Your testimony is amazing. I had a similar upbrining but my abuse was physcial and emotional. I understand how it feels to want to die or disappear from the Earth. The comforting thing is that God had a plan and He uses your pain to fuel your passion. Thank you for being so transparent and allowing your story to be told. God has so much for you to do through sharing your testimony and your strength with the world.
Shari Lynne says
Monica you are so sweet 🙂 Thank you for your great encouragement to me today 🙂 I pray that God would use His amazing and powerful grace to reach a hurting and lost world. I’m so sorry that you suffered at the hands of abuse also 🙁 I pray that you have been able to recover and be healed by God’s great love. Many blessings to you and thank you so much for stopping by!
krystle says
My mother was an alcoholic as well. It was a tough childhood but I made it through and was determined not to be like her. She passed away at 50. I’m glad you have made it through as well!
Shari Lynne says
I’m sorry Krystle 🙁 These are hard things. I wrote a post all about my Mom called “the Mother I never Knew” We did make it though didn’t we! YAY!! So glad you stopped by today 🙂 Blessings to you and your family
mom2kmjx2 says
you are AWESOME!!! I can’t imagine going thur that (except pregnant at 17). COngrats on everything. Celebrate the little things. That gave me tears. I’m just so happy for you.
Shari Lynne says
Awww you are so very sweet 🙂 Blessings!
Candy says
What an amazing story! Thank you so much for sharing with all of us!
Shari Lynne says
Awww thanks Candy! Thank YOU for stopping by! Blessings!
Ferly says
Wow, what an incredible story! It’s such an awesome picture of how God can take what man meant for evil and turn it into something good and fruitful! Thank you so much for sharing your gripping testimony with the world! You are an inspiration and a testament that when you hit rock bottom, you discover God is the rock. Keep praising Him and happy SITS day to you!
~ Ferly
Gifts We Use {to grow, love and serve}
Shari Lynne says
Hi Ferly! Thank you so much for your sweet encouragement. May God get all the Glory for sure! He is amazing and definately works all things together for good. It’s just that sometimes it takes time to see that! Blessings to you my friend..love your blog 🙂
Rachael says
You are such a strong woman an inspiration to so may!
Shari Lynne says
Awww thank you Rachael! It’s truly only by the Grace of God for sure 🙂 Thanks for stopping by! Blessings! Sweet pic you have 🙂
Denise Malloy says
You are one courageous woman! Bravo to you for turning your life around. You were brave to share this.
Shari Lynne says
Awwww thanks Denise 🙂 How can I not tell when I’m so very thankful..right :)?
Christine @ Love, Life, Surf says
Wow. What an incredible journey. Thank you for sharing your story with us. You are a remarkable woman.
Shari Lynne says
Awww you are sweet Christine 🙂 Thank YOU for stopping by and blessings ME 🙂
ilene says
I am touched in so many ways by your story. You are living proof that we all have the potential to thrive, despite our history! Thank you for sharing your story! xo
Shari Lynne says
Hi Ilene! Yes we definately have the potential to thrive..most definately 🙂 Thank you for your kinds words of encouragement and thank you for stopping by!
Blessings!
Laura says
Great testimony. So powerful. I pray that God uses it to draw others to him.
Shari Lynne says
Me too Laura..otherwise there would be no use in sharing for sure!! 🙂 Thank you for stopping by and blessings to you!
hannah says
As I read your blog, my heart was filled with sadness for you and all your struggles. And so when I read the end I was so very pleased that like Cinderella you too are having a happy ending and a new beginning
Hannah P.S.
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Shari Lynne says
Awww thanks Hannah! I don’t know that I’m Cinderella..but my story is definately similar! LOL Thanks for stopping by! Blessings!
lisa lo says
Whatever the pain of your past or present, it’s not nearly as great as your future!
Shari Lynne says
You are so sweet Lisa 🙂 And you are definately correct! Many blessings to you! 🙂
Diane Weeks says
Hi there! I happened upon your blog while visiting What Joy is Mine. I just finished reading your story here. I’m sorry for all the sadness you endured as a child. I’m glad that God got a hold of your heart so you could know how much you are loved and how beautiful you truly are. Years ago I worked in a home for women with addictions and now I am involved again by volunteering at a women’s home. There is nothing like seeing their lives being transformed by the power of Jesus Christ. I live in Ontario Canada and here is the link to the ministry I am involved with. We are a 2o bed home and just opened in April 2013 and currently have five women. They are beautiful and I love them so much. I learn a lot from them every week listening to them share. https://www.windsorlifecentre.com/
Blessings to you and your family. I think that is so cool that you submitted to your husband and had three babies together!!
Adrienne @ Whole New Mom says
Wow Shari. Glad I stopped to read this. So nice to meet you. What an amazing work God has done in your life. I’ve been blessed. And I can’t believe you are a Grandma! You look way too young!
Roxie says
I am a 64 year old woman. I was sexually abused by my father since I was 13 years old and my mother was pregnant with my brother. My father could not go without sex while she was pregnant so he started abusing me. We never had intercourse, but it is not because he didn’t try. I cried so hard he let me go. When I was 18 I married the first boy who asked me. He too was a hopeless sex nut. He wanted me to ride in the car without a shirt on and “flash truckers” for him. He wanted to take me to Topless bars and get me to dance. I just could not do that kind of thing. He slept around with any one that would let him. Then he came home and told me about it because it was “all my fault’ because he was not getting what he needed from me.
I did not turn to drugs or drinking. I ATE. I got so fat that he was disgusted. It worked. After 10 year of hell on earth I did divorce him. I married a man who loved me no matter what I weigh. Gastric bypass and 200 pounds gone we are happy as we can be. He loves me for myself.
The Lord did bring me through. I praise Him for that.