Mom, Mother, Mama..It’s an Action Word..When to Step In

There are so many things to consider when being a parent, a Mom , aren’t there?   I mean so many responsibilities,  so many choices,  so much heart work in ourselves and in our children.  When to say yes..when to say no..when to say wait.. 

Then there are the times when we have to make the choice to step in or step back..

Mom, Mother, Mama..It’s an Action Word..When to Step In

The questions that swirl around in our head..will this damage my child for good if do something?..will it damage my child for good if I don’t do something?

Sometimes instinct and the Holy Spirit overpowers us and we as Moms just know what to do..and then there are times when it’s not clear..we seek the Lord and we are just not sure…But there’s that stirring..the stirring that keeps you awake at night..the stirring that causes you to cry and your faith to grow…

Then you have to decide if the consequences of keeping your mouth shut or not keeping it shut is worth the risk..either way..

To take a step of faith…

So I did it .. it just poured out..I wrote it all out (of course because I love to write…I couldn’t help it)…then you know what I did?  I hit send…but not without my daughters approval..


Dear Coach

Just to let you know..that I think it was TOTALLY INAPPROPRIATE that my daughter was sent in to play the last tournament game 20 seconds before the game was over.

Just to let you know..that I think telling her that it’s nothing against them for not going in because the current girls were just “clicking” is TOTALLY INAPPROPRIATE..especially when all the other girls were subbed in and out..even if for a short period of time.

Just to let you know…that you cannot justify to a 14 year old girl that waits ALL YEAR LONG to play ———- to beat the socks off of them..that they are part of the “TEAM” when they sit on the bench.

Just to let you know…a medal means 0 unless it’s earned

Just to let you know..that the last year of select ball and Seaside will forever be marred in the heart of a 14 girl

Just to let you know…that a 14 year old girl feels HUMILIATED to be sent in to play the LAST 20 seconds of a game

Just to let you know..that a 14 year old girl is CONFUSED by why you would sent her in to play the last 27 seconds of a game..and so is the parent.

Just to let you know…a 14 year old girl doesn’t want equal playing time..doesn’t want all the playing time..but wants a little amount of playing time (27 seconds does not count as a “little”)

Just to let you know… that a 14 year old girl is not motivated to work her butt off at practice to sit on the bench

Just to let you know…that a parent does not want to drive their kids to practice..give up overtime..take VERY LONG TRIPS to watch their daughter sit on the bench and have her heart broken and watch coaches make up excuses as to why this is ok.

Just to let you know…that a 14 year old does not have her confidence built up by watching others play the game

Just to let you know…that a 14 year old girl does not believe you when you tell her that you have confidence in her playing but don’t back up your words with action.

Just to let you know..that a 14 year old girl will overcome, excel, succeed in the game of Basketball because of her love for the game..not because of the politics behind it.

Just to let you know…a 14 year old girl looks up to and honors her coaches

Just to let you know..a 14 year old girl can’t speak out on her own behalf and that’s why she has parents

Just to let you know…that this parent is unhappy, sad, angry, disheartened, frustrated, disgruntled, upset, broken hearted and can’t keep her mouth shut anymore…it’s officially in writing.

Just to let you know…that a 14 year old girl just wants to leave this behind and try to make the best of her please don’t bother her with this little letter that is from the heart of a parent, that knows the heart of their daughter.

Just to let you know..we have never questioned a 14 year old girls playing time.


To my sweet readers..

Just to let you know… We have a new coach this season that has practically robbed my daughter and some of the others players for that matter..of all of their daughter has always been an amazing athlete..We know that there will be bumps in the road..and we thought this would blow over..We are not the kind of parents that think our daughter is “all that” or that she should be front and center..this coach was appointed by my daughters future High School Coach to train the team..we worried that speaking up would ruin any chance of making the team…or making Varsity as a Freshman…so we have not said anything…until now…

Just to let you know… We received a pretty nice email back from the coach… and look forward to the future.. I saw her last night and we discussed matters and departed well…I pray God will use it for His glory…

Just to let you know… This is not school Basketball…this is a “paid” Select team..that trains athletes to achieve the highest levels of the sport..

God gave me this scripture for my daughter and we have held on to it in faith 

“Humble yourself before the Lord and in due time He will lift you up” I Peter 5:6

Mama Bear has spoken..

Oh and Just to let you daughter is now on the school team and is a starter..Smile God will lift you up!


So tell me..What would YOU have done in this situation?


  1. says

    Oh, Shari! I wanted to cry as I read the beginning of the post. It is so hard to be a teenager, and to not get to play until those last few seconds… So not appropriate. Everyone should get a chance to shine.

    I think your letter was beautifully written. It could not have been easy to hold your tongue for so long! And I love that you let your daughter read it before you sent it.
    I hope her experience with basketball this time around is better!
    OneMommy recently posted..Thankful Thursday — The Innocence of ChildrenMy Profile

    • says

      Aww OneMommy you are so’s been a REALLY hard time..but I believe that God has a purpose and plan for this whole experience. My daughter has been playing ball since 2nd grade and loves it so much..she would never give it up :) She is on the first string for school ball and she really gets to shine there. And shes’ very happy about that. She’s a sweet girl and would never have stood up for herself to a Coach..I’ll be watching to see how God works this out for His good purpose.. :) Thanks for stopping by!

  2. Cindy says

    Shari, This tugged on my heart! Im so proud of you for handling it in a godly fashion. What a great example you are to us all! <3

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

CommentLuv badge