I like to say “YES” to my kids as much as possible, that way when I have to say “NO” they “know” that I mean it. I really don’t even like to say “NO” to my kids because I love to see the smiles on there faces when I say “YES” to something and I hate to see the sad faces when I have to say “NO”. Or I just plain hate the struggle that saying “NO” is going to cause.
Yet if kids don’t learn to take our “NO” and obey it, much harm could occur. We as parents have a responsibility to teach our children to handle the answer “NO”
The reason I bring this topic up is because I have 1 tween and 2 teens living at home right now. Teens love to challenge parents in many ways. Challenge the boundaries, challenge the authority, challenge our ideas and ideals. I say “YAY” to this. Oh I know I will raise an eyebrow for saying this, but really it is a normal part of growing up. We are not raising robots..right!?
It is very important though that by the time they reach this age you have set the standard for your “NO’S” and your “YES’S” That they have learned to trust you and respect your decisions even if they don’t like it.
The other day my 14 year old daughter was taking pictures of her new Student ID Card. So I said “what are you doing” of course she said “taking a picture of my Student ID Card”. I asked her what she was going to do with that picture of her ID Card.. She smiled and said “Oh I’m posting it on Facebook so everyone can see my picture”
Ackkkk..Let’s see pic ID has full name, picture AND what school they attend.
“NO WAY” I said! And began to explain why..let me tell you, you would have thought that I took away her phone or something. She was sooo irate at me. She told me that 14 friends had already posted there’s and why couldn’t she.
Nope, Nadda, No Way, Forget it, Ain’t gong to happen…Let’s see how many ways can I say ‘NO’
I calmly explained why and told her that she needed to be the leader and tell all of her friends why they should not have their Student ID on there either. She got really mad at me and stormed off. However later that day I caught her telling her friends why they should not be putting their Student ID on Facebook. 
I know it’s hard to say ‘NO’ but it is our responsibility. We need to protect our children and that simple little word is sometimes all that it takes to keep some of the unthinkable to happen. Let’s not be afraid of the harmful damage we think our “NO’s” can be to our children and let’s not shirk back from a little conflict when we know in our heart of hearts we are right.
And most important..when they are receptive to your correction..later that day..give a big ol hug! Yep even to teens!
Tell me how you handle conflict with your kids when you say NO to them. Do you give in? (oh by the way I do sometimes) Or do you stand your ground?
That is easier said then done sometimes, but I always follow through
Saying NO is definitely hard sometimes Ally. Good for you to follow through though, that can be just as tough! Thank you for stopping by. Blessings!
Hmnnnn… wisdom from a gran. I have learnt a lot from this Shari, I have learnt how to say no, and follow through with much love, I see it yields good results. Thanks for sharing Shari, I have lots to learn about parenting.
Have a super blessed week ahead!
love
Ugochi recently posted..MY LIFE: NOT LIKE I PLANNED IT
Wonderful wisdom. I think it gets easier to say no as we learn from our mistakes. When we give in all the time or most of the time, our children expect us to say yes whether right or wrong. Hardest thing, though, to look in their eyes and say ‘not this time’ or ‘absolutely not.’
Donna DM Yates recently posted..Spotlight on YA/Childrens Authors
Hi Donna..Oh I totally agree…sometimes it just breaks my heart to say No, but then I have to remember that I am accountable to God not my children
That makes it a smidge simpler 
LOL Thanks for stopping by! Blessings to you!
GREAT advice! I loved your story. It’s such a disaster for future behavior when a parent says No and then does not follow through. Love your blog! New follower here.
Thank you Pam..yes it’s sad when we don’t look down the road a bit to see where our “loving” yes’s will lead if we don’t have the courage to say No now and then. I love your Stamped Coasters too!! Also following you! Blessings!
P.S. Stopped by from SITS.
Hi Pam..so happy you stopped by! Blessings!
We went through similar trials with our girls. We’d say no, they’d fight with us, we’d stand our ground (assuming it had been a reasonable no to start with), and eventually they would come around. But, boy, they certainly know how to push buttons and make life difficult sometimes!
However, now that they are in their mid-twenties, they both have thanked us for their upbringing, especially when we had to say no. The gratitude and understanding comes eventually. You just have to keep the faith and be the parent!
Kim recently posted..Dear Me
Hi Kim! So nice to see you
Yes boy can they make life miserable when they want there way! My grown kids laugh at my younger kids because the younger ones try to tattle on me for saying no about some things and they just look at them and say..well Mom has a reason for saying NO AND if she said NO to us then she’s going to say NO to you too! LOL
Blessings and thanks for stopping by!
I do give in sometimes, and it really depends on the situation. I have to remind myself that some things just aren’t worth fighting over (one more cookie before bed? yeah you’ll be up later, but whatever) while others absolutely are (I see how this relationship isn’t good for your mental state or ego, so no, you can’t see that friend for a while). I hope she understands that my NO absolutely means no, but with the button pushing every so often, it’s like she needs to see if I’ve changed my mind on things LOL
Hi Kristin! I called you Kristie on your blog..sorry
Anyway..I totally agree with you! We definately have to choose our battles and some things do not merit the struggle in the whole scheme of life 
I sometimes change me mind too..if I have misunderstood what my kids were asking or maybe I said NO to hastily…is that a word LOL any..I beleive there are times to change our minds..but for sure are on the tougher issues..our yes should be yes and our no should be no.
Thanks for stopping by!
Blessings!
Thanks for sharing this post! It brought back some memories of my 27 year old son. lol Oh boy he was a handful to raise! Can I blame all of it on ADHD?? NO!! lol Shame to say that my husband and I gave in to my son way too much, however…he grew up to be a passionate responsible adult.
Thank the Lord!
That is a great photo!
Tammy recently posted..Review For All Moms and Grandmothers – Baby Breeza One Step Baby Food Maker
Hi Tammy! I’m a little slow this week
I know aren’t you so glad that the Lord fills in all the gaps! I sure am because sometimes I think I have alot of them! LOL Blessings to you!