Specialist (to patient suffering from insomnia): “And did you try my plan of counting sheep coming through a gate?”
Patient: “Well, I counted up to a hundred and twenty thousand and thirty-nine, and then it was time to get up.”
Patient: Doctor, Doctor, I broke my arm in two places!
Doctor: Stay out of them places!
When Queen Victoria reigned in England, she occasionally would visit some of the humble cottages of her subjects.
One time she entered the home of a widow and stayed to enjoy a brief period of Christian fellowship.
Later on, the poor woman was taunted by her worldly neighbors. “Granny,” they said, “who’s the most honored guest you’ve ever entertained in your home?” They expected her to say it was Jesus, for despite their constant ridicule of her Christian witness, they recognized her deep spirituality.
But to their surprise she answered, “The most honored guest I’ve entertained is Her Majesty the Queen.”
“Did you say the Queen? Ah, we caught you this time! How about this Jesus you’re always talking about? Isn’t He your most honored guest?”
Her answer was definite and scriptural, “NO, indeed! He’s not a guest. HE LIVES HERE!”
Her hecklers were put to silence!
Thank you to oChristian.com